Okay so I am starting this blog out of laziness. Let me elaborate. I had this idea to make a long-ish video of my life in China, so my family back home can see how I live my life these days. I’ve been in China for more than two years now. Last year I flew back home twice, but now I intend on staying at least two years before going back. And I also changed my location so I was thinking that a long video might communicate better than all of those low quality Skype/FB Messenger calls. Hell, I could make a great documentary about China! And so I started writing down ideas of what this thing could be. And my ideas are amazing! But of course I am not even close to being capable of putting them in a cohesive video unit. I imagine myself going outside, recording a few interesting videos, documenting my usual daily doings and then putting them together. It would take time and it seems too daunting.
I do not own this picture and if y’all want me to take it down, I shall do so willingly
Then I had a great idea! The Golden Age of TV has been ruling the world for more than a decade now. Why not structure those ideas and make short videos that you can send to them once a week. HEY! Wait a minute! Dumber people than me figured out how to share their life with others and maybe even get some dough out of it. YOUTUBE! Poor man’s Hollywood!
The closest thing to Hollywood most people of the world will ever see or experience is a viral video on YouTube. That thing started as a video sharing website, but it grew into the most popular TV network of all time. Sure, you got Netflix and HBO, but when was the last time you saw your face on there? Well, your ugly mug could be on YouTube in, like, seconds. Just make a video of yourself doing pushups and people will be able to see it and shit on your technique in no time. Even if you just want to talk about how pissed off you are that Apple won’t let you change to Android, you can bitch and whine all you want. On YouTube! AND people will actually see it! You can be instantly famous without even trying. Bieber did it! Why not you?
Of course I don’t want to be famous, I just want to feel like I am doing something useful with my free time. But most of the people who have at least some semblance of structure to their videos or channels on YouTube, need to prepare. Namely, write a script. And so I decided to start there. Okay, how long is a script for a 5-10 minute video? Shit! I have no idea. Maybe I can just write as much as I can and then I will cut the things I don’t need. Or maybe I can just write… and post THAT!
While I have never ever shot a video where I cared about framing and scenarios, I HAVE been writing a diary and some stupid captions for websites for years now. And I have tried, at least in my diary, to develop a style, have some kind of structure and of course, be funny. This next sentence will sound narcissistic AF, but sometimes I go back to read my old stuff, and I chuckle at some pretty funny jokes my younger self wrote. I have been known to make people laugh at high school and college, as well as friends and family.
These thoughts encouraged me, sure, but the most encouragement I received was when I was watching this video of Ricky Gervais explaining why he is always laughing and sniggering even when nobody has said or done anything funny. It is because it is so funny in there (points to his head!)! Dude has been laughing at his own jokes! Narcissistic, yes! Kinda crazy? Sure! But relatable, though? ABSO-fucking-LUTELY!
Why the hell not start writing and sharing your life with everyone?! I mean, many people are bored to death where they live, or need motivation to move abroad to travel, see the world, learn to curse in a different language, join the mile high club, eat a bull’s dick and learn if they will be considered just as messed up in other cultures as they are back home. I check most of those boxes (guess which ones I don’t). And I can maybe illustrate how an insecure, awkward, almost-thirty, mild-alopecia-having, chocolate-dependent dumbass like me, tries to make it in the Middle Kingdom…
…which, I thought the Middle East was in the Middle, that’s why we call it the Middle East… but then again, Americans split Asia in half just to be the center of the world, so, I don’t know. I come from a country that calls Alexander the Great – Alexander the Macedonian… make of it what you will, I am just saying, we ALL messed up, so spread love, not hate, but most importantly, spread this blog.
So this is my first entry to a Documentary/TV Show/Novel wannabe blog. It is the easiest art form I could convince my lazy self to use to express… my lazy self. And hey, if I ever graduate to YouTube videos, I will make sure to send each and every one of you 10 emails a day to let you know about it.
Peace and mild annoyance!